Why You Need an Accountability Partner and Where to Find Them

Habits

May 27

For about a year now, I’ve been meeting with a voice actor colleague every Tuesday from 2pm-3pm. It was through my discussions with her that I realized I want to pass on what I’ve learned about organization and habit building to other actors. She suggested I build a Udemy course about how actors could use the project management software ClickUp and gave feedback during the process of writing and editing the course. Having to report on my progress and plan my next steps with her every week was incredibly motivating, and I’m sure it would have taken me longer to finish making the course, if I finished at all.

It can be easy to think that needing someone’s help means that you’re weak or insufficient in some way (trust me, I still catch myself thinking this sometimes!), but having someone support you and keep you accountable to your goals is nothing to be ashamed of! Humans are social creatures; we’re wired to seek the support and encouragement of others, whether they’re a cheerleader or a mentor.

two girls walking away from the camera with their arms around each other

A 2015 study done by Dr. Gail Matthews of the Dominican University of California found that “more than 70 percent of the participants who sent weekly updates to a friend reported successful goal achievement... compared to 35 percent of those who kept their goals to themselves, without writing them down” [source]. Not only do you need S.M.A.R.T. Goals to achieve your acting career goals, but you need consistent, weekly progress reports to a friend or mentor.

Finding the right friend or mentor to work with can be a challenge, however. Not everyone is cut out to be your accountability partner. You need someone just as excited about your career progress as you are, who can recognize your excuses and procrastination techniques, who asks you intelligent follow up questions that help you refine your plan. They’re reliable and punctual, so you can’t blow off your appointment with them. You also want someone who gets your sense of humour and whose company you genuinely enjoy. It’s a little like dating, you might have to try meeting with several different partners before you find the one.

As an actor, there are many places you can look to find accountability partners. With every group acting class you take, there are several classmates you could potentially connect with.

Here’s a tip: if you find yourself irritated and intimidated by a fellow actor, you probably need to learn from them. Some of my closest and most supportive friends are classmates who I was incredibly jealous of when I first met them!

If none of these classmates are the right fit for you, or you don’t participate much in group class settings, consider asking your coach or teacher for recommendations. They likely have another student who is around the same skill and career level as you. If they’re working one on one with a coach regularly, then they’re more likely to stick to weekly meetings with you.

The last place I recommend checking is Facebook communities or other online forums. People who are more... casually interested in acting tend to hang out in these groups so it’s harder to find people who won’t flake on weekly meetings, but there are genuinely excited, brave, and committed people lurking in these groups. If you start a five-person accountability group, you’ll likely find one person in that group that will continue meeting with you after the rest have given up or flaked out.

Having a partner or group isn’t enough, however. You also need to make sure your weekly meetings are productive and inspiring for all of you. There are hundreds of outlines, worksheets, and methods you can follow to run your meetings, but I recommend keeping things simple.

When you sit down for your first meeting:

Everyone declares their large, big picture goal. Maybe it’s “I want to be a sit-com actor” or “I want to be on Broadway” or “I want to write, produce, and star in my own film”. Spend time getting to know each other and your dreams.
Pick short-term goals. If you or your partner/group hasn’t created a SMART goal yet, make one! Give each other feedback and suggestions on what they could do and how.
Once a short term goal has been set, make sure everyone knows what their next step is for the week.
Plan the time for next week’s meeting!

For every session after that:

Review your progress on your goals since last week. If there was no progress, explain why. Don’t let this turn into making excuses, the point is to open up the floor to discussion about how to work around the roadblock you are facing.
Set your goals for the next week.
If there are any questions, concerns, or issues getting in your way, openly discuss them! They can be technical, emotional, etc.
If you like, you can also do acting exercises together, such as running scenes or doing improv games.

These weekly meetings don’t need to be formal, but they do need to be focussed. You’re not meeting with this person every week to gossip about what Ryan did in class this week, you’re all here to work on yourselves and get just a little bit better.

So: to summarize:

Needing help and support does not mean you are weak or a bad actor. Every single person needs encouragement and mentorship in order to thrive
You are more than 70% more likely to accomplish your goals if you give an accountability partner a weekly report on your progress
It may take a while to find the right partner for you - much like dating, you’re looking for someone compatible who challenges you to grow in an inspiring way
You can find partners in your classmates, by asking your coach, or advertising in Facebook groups and online forums
If you’re intimidated and jealous of someone, take that as a sign to make them a partner! Chances are you can learn a lot from them
Keep your weekly progress meetings simple
Start by sharing big picture, long term goals, then move into smaller, short term goals
Review your progress from last session and (if necessary) figure out why you failed to make progress. Come up with an action plan to overcome that hurdle so you can move forward
There’s no one way to run an accountability session, but whatever method you use, make sure you stay focussed and on track. You’re here to work, not gossip or make excuses

Do you have an accountability partner? Where did you find them? Let me know in the comments!

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About Me

Larissa is a professional audiobook narrator, voice over artist, and actor. With her home recording studio in Vancouver, B.C., she is able to spend her time doing what she loves most - becoming a conduit for stories that resonate with us.